in the middle of chaos [ANTHONIE]

[BILLIE JEAN "FALLON" TCHKOVSKI]

She watched him intently after she said the name aloud, steady and sure, though in no way accusing. Fallon knew full well that Anthonie had killed a king, but from the story he'd told her, the kind had well deserved it. The fact that she hated the Atra did help a little, but her decision was not purely based on that. What she took into consideration was the suffering of the 'good' fae, the pure and good Anthonie she'd seen in the weeks or months she'd been her --she wasn't quite sure just how long she'd stayed with him, time had passed rather strangely-- and all the other little details of the tale and everything else. Fallon had feelings for Anthonie, but she refused to think that her opinion was biased because of it. She had always been one to hold to an opinion about someone, even though she kept some of them to herself, no matter what her feelings were toward them. Wait...did that even make sense?

All thoughts went to a stand still as Anthonie got up and walked over to her. Her eyes widened a little, not out of fear, but because she wasn't sure now what to do with him being so near. What was he going to say? What was he going to do? Gold-brown eyes watched intently as he came over, then stopped some bit of distance away. He was trying to stay out of her personal bubble she supposed...

'I guess there's no real point in denying it.. I'm not so stealth and hiding things like that really. Yeah, Vaughn's my real name.. someone I was long past. I understand if you don't wanna be near me.. I mean, I am a murderer...'

To that...she did not know what to say. Her delicate brows pulled together, and she shook her head a little. Fallon's lips parted, but nothing came out. She didn't have any words, so she made up for what she couldn't say in actions. Without giving him warning, she closed the space between them and slipped her arms around him, pressing her cheek to his chest. Her little body was pressed as close to him as possible, and she didn't consider it sexual in the least. This was comforting...reassuring...

She wanted him to know that though he'd killed in the past, it didn't bother her, that he would not fall out of favour with her.

[ANTHONIE FAIRBURN]

Anthonie’s eyes were masked, hiding his emotions from here. They didn’t show the twisted, cruel thoughts that were rolling through his head and causing the boy so much pain. No words had the ability explain, to describe what he was going through, the stormclouds rolling through his thoughts. But because he didn’t want to scare Fallon to get her to feel guilty about anything, he just smiled lamely and tried to act like his heart wasn’t starting to break inside. He could already tell from the way his heart was starting to hurt that he didn’t want to lose her, that well.. it wasn’t normal. Even Anthonie, having gone through so much in his life, knew exactly what to expect and not to expect with everything, and knowing true feelings when he saw them, and he kenw that this was definitely them. He couldn’t’ really say it was any more or any less than Cicely, because they came and go as they went, and when you found the person of your dreams.. Well it was basically a moment and thing you couldn’t replace. Though he c udln’t say he was still truly in love with Cicely, the boy still loved her in a friendly way.

As he watched her, the way he face changed into the different expressions, he could tell there were various thoughts running through her head, though if they were good or bad he wasn’t sure of, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Anthonie was full clear, waiting, expecting her to run out of the door right then and there, and forget about his existence. It just seemed like the full on likely thing to do… didn’t it? His eyes widened slightly as he saw her start to approach him, and immediately, his jaw clenched up into a hardened expression, but not in a cruel way. More of a way to brace for what he knew was to come, like a slap or a kick to the shin. Or, if karma was REALLY out to get him, a nice kick to groin, which would be incredibly unpleasant. Full aware that no words had left the girls mouth, he also kept his shut and waited.

When Fallon got closer, and closer… The shock was written plain as day across his face as he felt her arms close around him into a tightly knit embrace. His face immediately softened, and it took a moment for it to register in his mind. This was the least likely reaction he’d been expecting, but by far the most pleasant that probably could have come up. A brilliant smile up his face, which completely distracted him out of his thoughts and state of mind, so that really, he was just happy that she wasn’t angry with or about anything that he’d done in the past, and he bit his lip slightly to conceal the smile that he knew would soon spread across his face. Unthinkingly and in a spree of the moment, Anthonie turned so that he could see her face and just look down at her, at how relaxed and easy she looked… And still not thinking, Anthonie’s face leaned down closer and closer to hers, until he touched his lips gently to hers.

It took him a couple of moments to realize what he was doing, and when he did, the boy tore himself away immediately, arms and all. His face was pale as could be, and his expression pained. It felt like he was tearing a piece of his heart out and handing it to her, to do whatever she pleased with it. Anthonie stumbled backwards a couple of feet, though not too many, and froze there, panicked. He was too shocked at his behaviour more than anything to move anymore, and the other part of him just was waiting for her reaction. It was out of line to do what he did…but he enjoyed it.

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[BILLIE JEAN "FALLON" TCHKOVSKI]

Fallon was getting lost in the feel of his body, the muscle beneath the shirt. Her cheeks warmed with a blush, and she pressed a little closer. She felt him move, and tilted her head up to see what he was doing. Anthonie was looking down at her, and before she knew it his lips were on hers. Fallon barely held in a gasp, going slightly on her tip toes to return the pressure on their lips.

She couldn't believe it, Fallon would have never dreamed that he returned her feelings. She couldn't be happier!

But then he pulled away, and a piece of her heart ripped and went with him. Fallon's eyes shot open, and she unconsciously took a step back --out of shock-- while watching him stumble away from her. Was she that repulsive? Had he simply done what was instinctive and then had been embarrased to have touched her in such a way? Hundreds of thoughts shot through her head, and her face bared them all. Her eyes filled with tears and she quickly turned her face to the side, trying to hide her expression. But the damage was done, if he'd been looking at her face he'd have seen every little bit of hurt.

"Ahh...I'm sorry for hugging you like that..."

She was feeling so vulnerable and alone all of a sudden. It was incredible, going from feeling so warm and special one moment to feeling like a piece of shit. Fallon shook her head, bright pink locks swining left then right. She swallowed hard, then headed for the door, moving quickly.

"I had some stuff to take care of...I'll see you later" She bent down and reached for her boots with one hand while the other hand turned the door handle.

[ANTHONIE FAIRBURN]

As he looked at her face when he pulled away, Anthonie could feel his heart getting wrenched through his gut and to the floor, as his hands clenched in agony. He wanted to hit himself, he really did. The boy had seen every detail of the girl's face, could figure out every emotion that had passed through her head. And it was starting to destroy him, to eat him up inside in such a way that he didn't think was ever possible. His mouth opened but no words passed, not BEING any words for the sorrow and pain that was emanating from his mind at that moment. But even so, he did know one thing.. That he couldn't let her get the wrong impression.

Finally, his vocal chords decided to work again, as he stumbled out quickly a couple of words, something that would let the girl know that what he'd done was real, that he the motion was genuine.

"I.. Fallon.. Wait!

[/color]" Though it came out weak, it was the best he could manage. It took him another moment, and the sight of her face branded into his mind, as well as seeing her start to grab her boots to put him back into motion. In a slight panic, he moved himself towards her, and reached out and grabbed her hand, quickly but gently, and braced himself against the door. His eyes were pleading as he looked at her, her smaller, more delicate hand still in his, though if she wanted to pull away, he wouldn't stop her.

"Fallon.. please.. Let me explain.." He stammered, his voice coming out in a nervous haze. His mind was a mix of fear, panic, and disorder, as for it seemed to be failing him in the vocabulary department.

"I... When I backed up.. I didn't mean it in a bad way.. The kiss.. it was genuine.. I only backed up because I didn't want to force it on you. I mean.. If you don't feel the same... I didn't know how you felt, that's why.. It was kind of a spree of the moment thing, something I probably shouldn't of done without asking you... But.. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to do it again, right now...[/b]" Voice trailing off into the silence that was agonizing torture to him, his eyes filled with despair and regret, just looking down at her, waiting for a notion that signalled everything was okay. The tears in her eyes couldn't of hurt him more if they had punched him in the face and broken every bone in his body.

"Please...."

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[BILLIE JEAN "FALLON" TCHKOVSKI]

He told her to wait, but for Fallon the request had sounded too weak to be genuine. Sort of like he'd said it because he felt he had to. She had the door partially open, and her eyes had filled with tears. What was wrong with her...?
Sure this was her saviour, and she'd lived with him for some weeks now, seen him every single day. But her reaction to him pulling away was so severe. Was she over reacting?

He took a hold of her arm and she let go of the door handle, but she did not look up at him. Her face was hidden behind a curtain of bubblegum pink. He'd already seen more than she'd wanted him to see. He wanted to explain? What did he want to explain? It was all clear to Fallon, and all she really wanted to do was get the hell out of there and go cry somewhere. She was being such a baby, but this was not something she could change about herself or stop with will alone.

With every word out of his mouth, her head tilted more and more to the side and up, until she was gazing up at him. He had feelings for her but didn't want to push himself onto her? Well that had certainly never occured to her. Was he making this up so she wouldn't feel like a piece of worthless shit? Would Anthonie be that dishonest? No, Fallon didn't think so.

He wanted to kiss her right now? Her eyes locked on his and she saw the emotions there, the pain and the pleading. Her heart broke all over again, but the warm feel of his hand on her arm spread a warm feeling throug her body, and she felt as if her heart was being put back together, like a little puzzle. Could she be dreaming? Was this reality? Fallon resisted the urge to pinch herself, and in stead reached up one arm, placing her hand on the nape of his neck. She let her boots drop to the floor, and gently pulled him down. Her lips pressed to his, and her long lashes brushed the pale skin of her cheeks as she closed her eyes...

[ANTHONIE FAIRBURN]

Anthonie wanted to cry, right then and there. He really did, only the years of abuse and torture he went through growing up prevented him from doing so. It wasn't that he was heartless, just that he'd gone through so much that his system just, well... refused to do it. He couldn't trigger it, couldn't mae himself cry no matter how much he wanted to. It proved useful in certain situations, but also not so much in others. Even when he was really happy he couldn't, like he'd be on his wedding day. Maybe with... Fallon?

You fricken idiot! He told himself, like a verbal slap in the face. He'd hurt her, and she wanted nothing to do with him. Somehow,in the back of his mind, Anthonie always knew this would happen, always knew that he'd be left to die alone and without anyone he cared about all because he was a freakshow, a murder, inhuman.. He just knew. The gut wrenching feeling, the pain and alonenes would be his for eternity, no matter how much he wanted them gone and away with. And he knew why, probably being punished from murdering all the fae that he did years and years ago, even though it WAS to save more lives. Even so, it was still murder none the less, no matter which way you looked at it.

So that's why it came as ahuge shock to him when he felt Fallon move closer, the boots hit the floor, her fingers dancing across his neck, inadvertantly taunting him, making him want her even more than he already did. Which was shocking to him, as he didn't really think it was possible. He felt his neck being dragged down though he placed no resistance to it, and felt euphoric when he felt their lips meet once again, their bodies close and comforting in the midst of everything. Returning the pressure on their kiss, to show that he WASN'T lying, to show that he really did mean it, that he did have feelings for her, he also put some of the passion that he'd been hiding into the kiss, deepending it as he wrapped his arms around her waist, gently but snugly. He'd let her pull away if he wanted, as much as he disliked it, but there was nothing he could do, right? Judging by this, though, he didn't think she was going to any time.

ooc- go anywhere you want with this. xDD

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[KEIJI MAURELLE]

did we want it to fade to black? and maybe do another thread further into their relationship? or did you wanna play out their first time? all my threads seem to turn R hahaha. I leave it up to you <3 i'd rather just do another thread [:

[ANTHONIE FAIRBURN]

i'm down for anything [: if you wanna start a new thread, go ahead xD