[R] The Once And Future Queen (Ellylon)

[NICHOLAS SANDROSE]

Overall, the peace ceremony had been a rollercoaster for Nicholas. He felt like he’d been dragged through every possible emotion -- pity for poor enslaved Sephora, jealousy over Ronja’s romp with an Atra knight, relief when the mortal sacrifices escaped, and finally fear that war might once more break out between the two courts. Really, it was too much for a mortal heart to survive in one night. When Nicholas got back to his room afterwards, he found a grey hair in amongst the brown curls. Was it only the result of a stressful evening? Or was the magic which kept him young finally starting to slip?

How old am I, really? Why can’t I remember? Do I have decades left to live? Years? Months? Weeks?

In any case, given the unexpected turn of events, Nicholas wasn’t sure that Queen Ellylon still wanted her song. He’d been trying to ask her ever since the peace ceremony. But she’d refused to see him. She’d refused to see almost everyone, except her brother. Perhaps she was just worried about growing tensions between the two courts. But it seemed like very odd behavior for his queen, and Nicholas couldn’t help wondering if it had something to do with the Atra male he’d seen behaving so boldly toward her at the peace ceremony.

So, Nicholas persisted, using the song as an excuse. Not because he was truly worried about it. But because he felt concerned for his queen. If he could just talk to Ellylon, maybe he could discover what was troubling her. True, he was just a mortal bard -- it seemed unlikely that he could offer her more than all her fae knights and courtiers. But it was in Nicholas’s nature to try.

And eventually, Queen Ellylon gave in. She always indulged him too much. Even now, as she struggled with some private darkness, she couldn’t keep saying ‘no’ to her favorite bard. Fully aware of the rare privilege he was being given, Nicholas dressed himself in black pants and a jacket cut from crimson velvet. The colors were unusual for him, since he generally preferred earth tones, but they seemed to fit the somberness of the occasion. A gold pin, in the shape of heart, decorated the jacket’s left breast.

When Nicholas arrived at Ellylon’s audience chamber, the guards kept him waiting for longer than usual. But, eventually, he was ushered inside. “Your Majesty,” he murmured, bowing low. “Thank you for seeing me.”

[ELLYLON EN ERSEN]

Queen Ellylon, ruler of the Argentum court. She would be remembered through the ages, though not for the reasons she'd hoped. No, she would not be remembered for her beauty, or for her impecable rulership. She would be remembered as the queen dumb enough to have her name stolen by an Atra knight. She was done for. If Kyo hadn't odered her not to speak a word of this to anyone, she would have ordered someone to kill him by now. But he'd thought ahead, thought to order her to keep this to herself. It was eating her up inside. Ealdun had noticed that something was the matter, and so had some of the royalty, but her little brother had been the only one who'd dared ask her about it.

She knew he would probably see right through her lie, but she blamed her unsual mood on the failed peace ceremony. It was true that the mortal blood had been spilled, and that was all that was reqiired to seal the peace contract in a sense. But for centuries, the mortals had always been killed. So now the two courts were debating on whether this meant war or peace.

Ellylon hoped for peace. Maybe the chaos at the ceremony was enough of an excuse to deter Ealdun for now. However he would figure something else was the matter, for the queen had been considering solutions to her situation. Escape from her master seemed unlikely at this point, but maybe she could leave the court out of this. If she was no longer ruler for the Argentum court, he could not control all of them by pulling Ellylon's strings.

There was no point in simply stepping down from her postion of power, simply leaving the Argentum court without a ruler was asking for chaos. But there was something else she could do. Ellyon had gone through all of the ceremonies and rules of their court, and the night previous to this day she'd remembered something that was likely to be used as her solution. As queen, she could hand the throne to the heir, or someone she found suitable for the position, due to the press of an emergency. And this was certainly an emergency.

So Ellylon felt a little lighter on this day, not by much but it was still noticable. She'd even allowed Nicholas to see her. The queen had kept mostly to herself since the ceremony. The court was probably suspicious, or worried. It didn't matter. She would save them, and it would more than likely cause her death. Kyo would be furious that she'd taken his control of the Argentum court by simply snapping her fingers --though not literally of course.

What did a fae lady do on the last day she knew she'd be alive? Ellylon hadn't the slightest idea. She'd obviously never been in this situation.

When Nicholas came through her door, she was sitting in the parlour of her chambers, near the window. Her delicate form was dressed in a gown of dark blue. The colour was darker than what she usually dressed herself in, but she was feeling darker than usual, so she supposed it was befitting. The bard spoke and Ellylon turned in her seat to look at him. Her hair was done up in a delicate little twist, and she had a tendril of white-gold hair traild down along each temple.

"It is good to see you, Nicholas." A slight smile graced her lips, "What is it that you wanted to see me about?" Her eyes were evidently more dull than usual, and her voice was not quite as melodious. She no longer cared about how evident her mood was.

[NICHOLAS SANDROSE]

When Queen Ellylon turned toward him, Nicholas immediately noticed the lack of sparkle in her blue eyes. He heard the uncustomary flatness in her voice. Perhaps he’d served her for far less time than many others in her court, but her moods were as familiar as lovers to him. He’d observed them with such care. He’d taken them back to his room, where he caressed them with soft words and composed songs in their honor. He knew each one so intimately. Except for the one he now saw, draped over his queen like a funeral shroud. It scared him a little.

"What is it that you wanted to see me about?"

Nicholas started to explain that he had questions regarding the song which she’d requested. But then he stopped himself. No. That wasn’t the truth, and his queen deserved the truth. Maybe if he’d been honest with her a long time ago, maybe if he’d admitted the way she made him feel, the whole painful debacle with Ronja could have been avoided. “I’m...I’m worried about you, My Queen.”

Moving closer to the window, Nicholas placed a hand on the back of Ellylon’s chair. He would never dare to touch his queen without permission. But he wanted to offer her some gesture of solidarity; some indication that he remained loyal to her, no matter what had happened. “Forgive me if I speak too boldly. I do so only out of concern for your welfare. But ever since the peace ceremony, you’ve seemed...distracted.”

Nicholas fell silent, staring through the window. Outside, a thick fog covered the garden, turning everything grey and dull. Even the flowers drooped beneath its chill weight. Queen Ellylon had always been so strongly linked to the land she ruled. When she waned, it waned too.

[ELLYLON EN ERSEN]

Ellylon expected him to come speak to her about a song, or perhaps something had happened between himself and Ronja again. Or maybe even the third woman in the picture. She'd never found out who the first love had been, the one that had indirectly been the cause of the fuss between Nicholas and Lady Ronja. Did she care enough to find out before her death? Ellylon had to admit she was quite curious. But at the moment she had no energy for games. Nor the patience for gossip or other things. His words however surprised her. He was worried for her? Of course those of the court were either glad she was not her usual self, or they were worried, or suspicious. But other than Ealdun, Nicholas was the first to voice his concern.

Crystal blue eyes regained some of their life as she watched him walk over and place a hand on the back of her chair. The motion seemeed both concerned and protective. Ellylon appreciated them both, being in need of each at the moment. She looked up the length of his body and up at his face as he spoke. He'd used the word 'distracted', and she supposed that it sort of fit. One could be quite distracted when the enemy got a hold of one's name and planned to use it against one's people. The thought made her drop her gaze down and over to look out the window once more. She was affecting the land, and it filled her with a sense of sadness.

Right now, seeing green meadows and the beautiful colours of flowers and fruit would have helped her mood a little. Without thinking too much about it, Ellylon turned her head again and leaned it to the side. Her cheek pressed to Nicholas' stomach, and she closed her eyes. His smell, his physical presence were more of a comfort than she would have imagined. The thought that she would never again hear any of his songs...made her want to fall to the floor and weep. But in stead she took physical comfort from him,

"I cannot speak of it, though I wish that I could." She was glad and surprised that Kyo's orders and the magic involved in her inprisonment had allowed her to even share that much. Could she tell him that she assumed this to be her last day alive? Could she tell anyone?

[NICHOLAS SANDROSE]

Nicholas nearly jumped when he felt Queen Ellylon’s cheek press against him. She rarely initiated contact -- her choice to do so now clearly illustrated the severity of her troubles. Turning his eyes from the foggy garden, Nicholas gazed down at her. She seemed so sad. And when she was sad, Nicholas could feel no joy.

Under normal circumstances, Queen Ellylon’s touch would have frozen Nicholas, rendering him too nervous to move. But something had changed. Something was so deeply wrong with the world that old barriers had dissolved. Titles such as queen and courtier no longer meant anything. They were just two people, clinging to each other while the unknown swept toward them. With a hand which trembled only slightly, Nicholas reached down, gently stroking Queen Ellylon’s hair. God! It felt as soft as he’d always imagined. So light and smooth that it was hardly there at all, like sunshine twining around his fingers.

“I cannot speak of it, though I wish that I could."

Nicholas nodded. “I realize that the burdens of power are usually heavy. And I realize that they must often be carried in silence. But if there’s anything you would have me do, I’ll do it. I don’t need to understand why. And if there’s anywhere you must go, I’ll follow you. Into exile, into slavery, into the darkness which waits for us all -- it doesn’t matter.”

Careful not to jolt Ellylon, Nicholas knelt beside her chair, so that he could gaze up into her face. She still looked beautiful. No tragedy could ever steal her innate grace. Even in defeat, she was stronger than anyone else he’d ever known. Surprised by his own boldness, Nicholas took one of Ellylon’s hands, cradling it between his own. His lips brushed softly against her fingertips, giving a kiss as fragile and fleeting as a snowflake in summer.

“A throne is just a piece of furniture. A crown is just a fancy hat. A true ruler doesn’t need props or titles. And I just want you to know that whatever happens, you have always been...and always will be...my queen.”

[ELLYLON EN ERSEN]

Had she expected him to stay still, or had she expected him to react or move in some way? Ellylon really didn't know. She'd touched her cheek to him without really thinking it through. When one was in need of physical contact, they very rarely thought about it before seeking it. She could feel his stomach, firm and warm through his shirt, and Ellylon had to hold back a sigh. Was he really warm? Or had she simply gone cold due to her situation, due to the undeniable fright coursing through her? She didn't know. There were so many things she didn't know. Was she really good enough to be queen, being so unwise and all? Fear seemed to come hand in hand with doubt, as well as a number of other more subtle things. In other words Ellylon was slowly sinking in a swamp of her own dispair. She would name Ealdun king tonight, and then she would be gone from this place. She could no longer stand hiding the colours of the grass the flowers the trees with her misery.

She felt his hand in her hair, and she felt weak enough that she could tilt her head into the touch, like a cat. This was almost shamefull, for her to behave this way. It was so un-lady-like, and...

And what? Ellylon hadn't allowed herself the touch of another for quite some time. And this did not merely mean she hadn't had any lovers, but she hadn't allowed much touch in general. Except her brother, she'd shared a hug here and there with her little brother. But it was not enough. She'd let the ruling of the Argentum court become her all, and had forgotten to nourish herself. Now she feared that this would influence her behaviour.

'I realize that the burdens of power are usually heavy. And I realize that they must often be carried in silence. But if there’s anything you would have me do, I’ll do it. I don’t need to understand why. And if there’s anywhere you must go, I’ll follow you. Into exile, into slavery, into the darkness which waits for us all -- it doesn’t matter.'

Why was her mind so clouded with thought after thought after thought? Ellylon wanted to shake her head, clear it all out. She wanted peace. Her eyes opened as Nicholas moved, kneeling by her. Had she been so obvious in her need for physical comfort, or was he simply very attuned to her? Yet another thing she knew nothing about...

He took her hand and she felt the light touch of his lips on her fingertips. Her heart skipped a beat, and some of the life returned to her eyes as she gathered enough strength to hide her reaction, along with the surprise that followed.

She had showed him weakness, something that was almost taboo for a queen like herself. Yet in stead of leaving her side, he in stead promised himself to her. His words touched her in a way that they never could have under regular circumstances. The caring in those words...caressed her cold heart and brought some warmth to her chilled skin. How did one respond to such words, to such devotion? Even if they were words from a bard to his queen, and Ellylon was accustomed to the compliments and promises that came with her seat of power... However, in this situation she found herself speechless.

Crystal blue eyes simply locked on his gaze as she struggled to keep her expression from showing any feeling. Maybe seeing him in this state had been a mistake. But when then would she see him? Ellylon would be gone by nightfall, so when would she have the chance to see him one last time? Other than her little brother and Nicholas, there were very few she held dear enough to even consider seeing one last time.

[NICHOLAS SANDROSE]

Gazing into Queen Ellylon’s icy blue eyes, Nicholas searched them for some clue to her thoughts. Was she grateful for his company? Or had his boldness displeased her? Was she about to summon her guards and have him dragged from the room? Suprisingly, even that possibility didn’t particularly frighten Nicholas. He just wanted to know. But her eyes revealed nothing. The sadness in them veiled every other emotion, just like the fog which shrouded the garden outside.

As the minutes passed in silence, Nicholas felt acutely aware of Ellylon’s hand, still resting between his. He knew that he should probably release her. But he couldn’t make himself. The smoothness of her skin, the shapely taper of her fingers, the slight pulse of her enchanted blood -- they filled his mind with thoughts he had no right to entertain. They intoxicated him like alcohol. Nicholas knew that he was about to step way over the line. He knew that mortal men had probably been killed for trying to do what he was about to do. But he literally couldn’t help himself. He’d dreamed about this for too long.

Like a man in a trance, Nicholas lifted Ellylon’s hand, and pressed her palm against cheek. A shudder of rapture tore through his body when he smelled the distinctive scent of roses rising from her skin. Could he survive this? She was a fae queen. She was an embodiment of pure magic -- as old as the world, as bright as the sun, as wild as the wind. And he was just a mortal moth, beating itself against something which could ultimately destroy it. But oh...if he had to die, what a wonderful death it would be.

Nicholas’s eyes had slipped shut, overwhelmed by the sensations flooding him. But now he forced them open, once more seeking out his queen’s mysterious gaze. “My Queen. When you last visited my room, I told you about the woman whose heart I wished to win. The woman who, to my great shame, I betrayed. But you never asked for her name. I wondered if it was because you already knew. And if you didn’t know then...do you know now?”

[ELLYLON EN ERSEN]

She watched him very closely, studying his expression as she just tried to think of something --anything-- to say to him. His words had been so genuine and heart-warming, she wished she could at least find the words to thank him. But then she realized that her heart was in her throat, not from fear, but from something she had not felt in a very long time. Some surprise finally broke through her expression just as he lifted her hand and pressed it to his cheek. He gave a shudder, and her rosy lips parted in a silent gasp in the next moment. Ellylon blinked, feeling the warmth in his cheek. The warmth seemed to radiate from him, into her hand and up her arm. What was this feeling?

Her heart was no longer in her throat, no...it was beating furiously in her chest. The bodice of her dress suddenly felt tight, as if she could get quite enough breath into her lungs, and the warmth from him moved up and up. It filled her chest, and this time her gasp was quite audible. What was this? Nicholas was mortal, he didn't have any magic. Perhaps it was her magic responding to his, perhaps it was a perfectly natural reaction for a fae. She could not explain it, and this time was far too distracted by what was happening to mentally scold herself for once again being clueless about something.

She didn't bother closing her lips as she watched his eyes open. He spoke, and she found her eyes slipping momentarly to his lips before they moved up to meet his eyes once more. Ellylon rememberd the morning in Nicholas' bedchamber. She'd found Ronja sitting on the bed, tending to an ill Nicholas. He'd taken an Atra potion due to his frustration with Ronja. Or had he taken it to win her? The details were not impoartant, what mattered was that she had been intensly curious about who Nicholas had originally tried to impress.

'...The woman who, to my great shame, I betrayed...'

Ellylon felt something that felt like jealousy rise up to her chest, yet his next words stopped it in its tracs, before it could properly develop. The jealousy was one shock, and what he said was another. This meeting with Nicholas had showered her with one surprise after another. She had not known who the woman was, but once he said the last bit, Ellylon instantly knew. Her eyes went wide, and all pretense of being blank and without emotion went out the window. How had she not realize?! Many believed that all queens were vain, that they were under the belief that each and every man they came into contact with was head over heels in love with her. Ellylon was well aware of her beauty, but she was not such a woman! She'd had no clue!

The last weeks of misery, in combination with shock after shock in the last few moments...sent each and every one of her walls crashing to the ground. Ellylon did not allow herself to think, she simply acted. Her delicate hand cupped his warm cheek, and she leaned forward, dark gold lashes swooping down as her lips pressed to his.

[NICHOLAS SANDROSE]

Nicholas watched in awe as the change spread through Queen Ellylon -- it was like seeing frost melt from the petals of a beautiful flower, allowing it to bloom again. Life returned to her eyes. Pale tints of color returned to her fair skin. And behind him, in the garden, a ray of sunlight burst through the grey fog. Had he caused this? How could he? He was only a humble mortal, with no magical abilities at all.

Then again, maybe love possessed its own sort of magic.

After making his confession, Nicholas hadn’t been sure how Queen Ellylon might react. Would she pity him for desiring the impossible? Would she chastise him for being too bold? Would she be angry with him for betraying her? At first, he saw only surprise on her face. But then...then, he saw something else. Something he barely had time to recognize before she bowed her head and pressed her lips against his.

Oh! Those lips, which he’d admired from afar for so long. Every time she brushed away a crumb, or swiped her delicate tongue across them, he’d wondered how they might taste, how they might feel. And now he knew: sweet as sugar, smooth as silk. An overwhelming sense of certainty swept through Nicholas. The desire he’d felt for Ronja had been real, in its way. And the friendship that he now had with her was built on a very sincere love. But this...this was what his heart had been craving.

Nicholas held onto the kiss until his lungs screamed for air. Then, reluctantly, he broke away long enough to suck in a deep breath. And even that brief loss of contact felt like torture. Sliding a hand deep into Ellylon’s soft blonde hair, he began to kiss his way across her cheek, until he reached her ear.

“I’ve loved you for so long,” Nicholas whispered, his voice as ravenous as a starving man gulping down his first taste of food. “But I never dared tell you. Because you were a fae queen, and I was just mortal bard. And then, I thought that maybe if Ronja helped me become a better man...maybe then I’d finally deserve you. Please forgive me.” Forgive him for never telling her, for betraying her with Ronja, for daring to love her in the first place. Forgive him for anything and everything. Just as long as she let him stay and love her.

[ELLYLON EN ERSEN]

He returend the kiss and she felt something inside of her realx. Had she feared that he would pull away, after a confession like that? His lips felt wonderful, a combination of male strength and tenderness. Ellylon kept one hand on his cheek as they kissed, the other resting on her lap. He broke away for air, and her eyes looked a little dazed as they blinked open. She let her lashes sweep down again as she felt him trail kisses along her cheek, then gave a slight shiver as he whispered into her ear.

There was no need for him to explain the situation, all of the pieces fit now. She'd been missing one piece, but now that she knew she'd been the one who's heart he'd tried to win...it all fit now. And then he apologized, and she knew exactly what he was apologizing for. Ellylon released a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding, and it came out a little shaky. She let her hand slip from his cheek and into his dark brown curls. They were softer than they looked, and had she been a cat, Ellylon would have purred with delight at the feel of it.

She had already forgiven him. Ellylon would have never initiated a kiss if she hadn't already forgiven his betrayal and everything else. The queen turned her head and placed her lips to his cheekbone, her hand stroking through his hair tenderly, "Nicholas..." Ellylon pulled back so she could look into his eyes, "You are already forgiven..."

Many would have said that she was letting him off too easy, especially with her being queen and he a bard. But right now with this feeling pulsing between them, titles did not matter. Besides, he had never wronged her before, he had not belonged to her when he had gotten involved with lady Ronja, and everyone was allowed a few mistakes...

She placed a quick kiss on his lips then pulled back again, studying his face. Ellylon felt something like a magnetic pull toward him. She wanted to touch him to kiss him. She knew this was attraction, she would not lie to herself and say it was love. But the strength of this attraction in combination with her strong affection for him...could most definitely mold itself into love. Her lips parted as if she were to say something, but then she closed them again, her eyes locked on his. What would he do next?